I remember the first time someone told me that because I was working, my daughter wouldn’t know I’m her mom. A typical ridiculous comment in the desi community that made my heart boil, and eyes well up with tears(mixture of anger and postpartum hormones)
Why is a women always expected to sacrifice, and forget about herself? We don’t put the guilt on men when they hardly ever give time to their kids or wife. Taking care of a child is not only a mothers job! A fathers job/role is not only to make money.
Being a Working Mom in the Desi Community means mostly dealing with……
Desi aunties think I work because my husband probably doesn’t make enough, because why else would a mom work? Oh poor thing she has to work…..Honey my husband has a flourishing career of his own, and I have the option to stay home if I wanted.
Women are expected to stay home after marriage, and even more after they become a mom. Taking care of her house and family is her biggest accomplishment. For some women that is what makes them happy, if it does, you go girl!! Do you!
One my moms friend said, that a woman can be the president, but if she not taking care of her home she is nothing.
I love being a mom and wife, but I also love being a boss!! And going after my own goals and dreams.
Yes its hard, but anything that is worth having, is not easy.
And yes my daughter knows who her mom is!! Me working has not affected our relationship or her well-being. Many are so surprised when they see how close my daughter is to me.
I know that with time it will get better. We have amazing families in the desi community that support their daughters in whatever they choose to do, whether it is to work or stay at home.
I can’t begin to say how lucky I am to have those amazing people in my life. My mom takes care of my daughter when I’m at work, my dad does as well, since he leaves to work later on in the day. My sister is also always there for me on days I need to her to help. My husband supports me in any way I need, always doing house chores, and taking care of Tamanna while I go to my book club meetings, or to hang out with my girls.
My in-laws are in Pakistan, but they are proud of me working, and always wish me success. My mother in law comes to visit us in the summer, she was watching Tamanna while I went to work. She always encouraged me, helped me sooo soo much around the house, and forced me to nap and eat well. It was huge that we never said anything negative about me working. That type of support from a mother in law is not common.
This is not just a problem in the Desi community, but many others!
The USA is not the best at supporting working moms, we are the only developed country that does not offer extended maternity leave. America really needs to work on supporting working mothers. I’m blessed to be a part of an organization that values family life, but not many do not, which is one reason many moms do not choose to work.
I love being a mom, but I am MORE THAN JUST A MOM
Here are 7 Reasons Why I love Being a Working Mom
- I Get to be a Role Model.I show my daughter that she can always follow her dreams, and my son that it’s not only a women’s job to take care of a home. Studies have shown that working moms have a positive impact on their children’s eventual careers and finances. daughters of working moms completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles, and earned higher incomes than those who had a stay-at-home mom.
- I am Able to be Financially Stable, and have peace of mind knowing that I can take care of myself and my family on my own if ever needed.
- I am Less Stressed. One of the biggest fears many women have about being a working mom is the added stress of balancing a full-time job and parenting. Numerous studies, however, report that working moms are not just happier but they also show no increase in psychological distress. “Women who have a child and then leave the workforce, on the other hand, experience major increases in stress and suffer higher rates of depression”
- I Have an Excuse to Look Nice. If I didn’t have to leave my home would never get out of their PJs. Having an office to go to gives me the perfect excuse to actually look and feel my best. Im so glad its blazer season!!
- I Get to Use my Degree. I have a bachelors, that I worked hard for!! Being able to use my knowledge and skills and apply it my job, along with gaining more knowledge and skills is super satisfying(as well as getting recognition and rewarded for it)
- Work Enriches my Marriage. I love sharing my day with my husband, and sharing all the crazy things that happened at work. It promotes interesting conversations, about topics we wouldn’t have touched on, when taking about diapers or a fussy child. He has his tales from the office and I have mine.
- I Come Home to a Big Bear Hug. I love going home to my baby, I’ll call out her name and she ll come running to me with a big streak of excitement, and my heart melts every single time.
I will always want what is best for my baby. And personally I believe that me working outside of the home is what is best for her . I want to teach my daughter independence, the value of hard work, the value of education. Her seeing me go to work, and balance my life, always trying to learn new things, giving my all and never giving up on my family or myself teaches her that. Being a working mom allows me to do this, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Working as a stay at home benefits your kids. Working out of home benefits your kids! We re all doing it right, and its important to support each other.
WHO RUN THE WORLD?! MOMS!!