Why I Started a Feminist Book Club

After becoming pregnant, I have been obsessed with baby and parenting books. Reading and having the lasted information keeps me informed and helps me with the whole new mommy thing.

I remember coming across the book, “Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue”, by Christia Spears Brown. It was a great read and spoke a lot about gender roles. Gender roles start early, like when you re in the womb. “Is it a boy or girl”, one of the many common questions pregnant women get asked. If its a boy you will crave sweets, if its a girl you will crave salty food. If its a boy you ll have clear skin, if its a girl you will break out. Little girls and cute and sweet, little boys and handsome and strong, etc etc.

We grow up so aware of our gender, starting so young. There was designated toys for girls and designated toys for boys. Toy r Us annoys me, because when you walk in you will see a boys section and a girl section. Why???? Why not just a toy section. Girls will unconsciously go to grab dolls and kitchen items and boys will grab the trucks and wrestler toys. Of course not all kids are like this, there was girls that hate dolls.

Now I don’t have a problem with girls playing with dolls or boys playing with trucks, I just don’t like that fact that they are in separated sections. We are already introducing our kids to gender roles, without them even knowing. Early on we say things like boys are strong and girls are sweet.

When I go shopping for my baby girl, I get so annoyed about all those onesies that say cutie, sweet, princess, how about strong, brave, leader, explorer!! Or how about some more color options, too much pink and soft colors.

The book spoke a lot about how we can raise our kids free of gender stereotypes.

After reading the book, I decided I wanted to start a book club, a feminist book club. I thought this would be a great way for me and my friends to discuss these existing issues. Studying about feminism  from different books and different points of views, from all different parts of the world.

I also think its important for us to talk about these issues and more importantly discuss ways we could effect change. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but change starts by first identifying the problem. Gender and society is a very important topic for me and so was starting this book club, something that I wanted to do for a very long time.

Also I have heard so many misconceptions about feminism from my peers, which was surprising and concerning. so many people believe that there is need for feminism any more.

Many of these people are women themselves. Women need to support each other and help each other up, and not the opposite. When we as women learns how to do that, we can truly make a difference. Together we are better, we are stronger.

Involving men in these issues we go through as women is also extremely important as they are an active part of our society. We meed to clear up misconceptions. Many believe feminist are angry women, that hate men, bras, shaving, marriage, make up, etc.There are many different faces of a feminist, but one thing we all have in common is that we wanted to be treated with equality, and be valued for our strengths. We aren’t trying to compete with men!!

This would also be a great way to meet with like minded women, and take a break from being a mom once every 5 weeks.

Our first book was “We Should all Be Feminists”, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. This was a short read, was spoke a lot the misconception about feminism, along with how we need to focus on our boys as well. She also spoke about double standards, and how feminism is not just for women but more men, men and women, all of us. We should all be feminists.


I am also a mother of a daughter, and I hope for her to live in a society where she is treated equally, and not considered weak, over emotional, irrational because she is a girl. I want her to live in a world where phrases like “boys will boys”, don’t exist. A world where she is not expected to have it all. A world where society doesn’t question her about how she manages her career and family life(no ones ask men that). A world where her appearance doesn’t matter more than whats in her mind. A world where boys don’t feel threatened by masculinity, and lack expression of emotions. A world where girls know that they can be whatever they dream to be, but also have a society that supports them to achieve that dream. A world where parents understand that all that focus we put on our daughter we must do as much if not more with our sons. A world where we raise our young boys to respect girls and not objectify them. A world where our boys know how to cook and take care of babies, and we teach them how to be good husbands. Many of us have raised our daughters like we raise our sons, but how many of us have raised our sons like we would raise our daughters.I hope that my daughter lives in a world that is free of gender stereotypes. I hope. But if that world doesn’t give her that, I want her to know that mama will always be there to help her achieve that.

If you are in the NYC area and would like to be a part of this club, you are more than welcome!!!

I have included the facebook link to this event below.


Keeping up with Breastfeeding & Pumping

Keeping up with breastfeeding/pumping has been one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It requires so much patience, and many times you just want to give up.What keeps me going is the endless benefits of breastfeeding. Its more than just your baby getting sick less, it can lead to higher IQ’s, lowers risk of type 1 diabetes, lowers the risk of diabetes, childhood cancers and so much more.

Here are some facts about breast milk(be ready to be amazed)!!!!

Breast milk contains at least 100 ingredients not found in cows milk, that not be duplicated in commercial formula.

Raw materials are selected from the mothers blood stream as needed, altering the milks composition from day to day, feeding to feeding, as the baby grows and changes. Breast milk is custom made according to your babies needs.

Breast milk is also a lot easier to digest. Breastfeed babies are hardly ever constipated.

Nursing can also help burn off calories gained during pregnancy!!


You don’t get breast milk until your 3rd or 4th day home from the hospital. So don’t expect a fountain of breast milk, if you do have that, than wow!! But the majority do not.

Babies don’t need that much when they are first born. The size of a newborns stomach the first day is the size of a cherry(1-1.4 teaspoons). Day three its the size of a walnut(0.75-1oz) In one week its the size of an apricot(1.5-2oz). and than in a month its the size of a large egg(2.5-5oz)


So you only need a little breast milk, so don’t worry about creating a freezer stash.

The most common reason why mothers give up on on breastfeeding is because they think they don’t have enough milk to feed there babies. You have enough milk!! You are getting enough milk for your baby!!!

During pregnancy and the early days of breastfeeding your breast will produce colostrum.This special milk is yellow/orange in color.It is low in fat, and high in carbohydrates, protein, and antibodies to help keep your baby healthy. Colostrum is extremely easy to digest, and is therefore the perfect first food for your baby.Colostrum actually works as a natural and 100% safe vaccine. It contains large quantities of an antibody called secretory immunoglobulin A (IgA) which is a new substance to the newborn. Before your baby was born, he received the benefit of another antibody, called IgG, through your placenta. IgG worked through the baby’s circulatory system, but IgA protects the baby in the places most likely to come under attack from germs, namely the mucous membranes in the throat, lungs, and intestines.

The colostrum gradually changes to mature milk during the first two weeks after birth. During this transition, the concentrations of the antibodies in your milk decrease, but your milk volume greatly increases. The disease-fighting properties of human milk do not disappear with the colostrum. In fact, as long as your baby receives your milk, he will receive immunological protection against many different viruses and bacteria.

No wonder breast milk is also referred as liquid gold. There is nothing that can compare to breast milk. It is customized for your baby, your body produces what your baby needs.

Learning all the benefits of breastfeeding during pregnancy, I so motivated to make sure my baby was breastfeed, Tamanna deserved it.

Now here’s my breastfeeding experience!!

Tamanna is now 2 months and I have been exclusively pumping and then nursing at night and sometimes in morning. I give her formula 2-3 times a day.

Tamanna latched on within a hour after she was born, that moment was soo beautiful and it felt amazing. Tamanna was born early so she had a low birth weight. I was determined to feed her only breast milk, but ended up giving her formula twice a day. I didn’t have a pump at the time, and I didn’t know how much she was drinking.

So I would pump and then feed her, and record how many ounces she was getting. Pumping is double the work, first you pump and you feed it via a bottle. But I didn’t want her to get to used to only breastfeeding and not drinking from a bottle, so pumping worked out great. I used the tommee tippee baby bottles. These bottles made switching to bottle and breastfeeding easy. The nipples of these baby bottles mimic the natural flex, stretch and movement of mommies breast.

Being connected to a machine for 30 minutes every 2 hours  is not fun, and even thou she was wetting the right amount of diapers, I still preferred pumping so I could see how much she was drinking, esp since she already had a low birth weight. In the beginning i didn’t have much of a milk supply, but breastfeeding is all about supply and demand, more demand=more supply. So I continued to nurse and pump and it made a big difference. My milk supply still goes up and down, but some breast milk is better than no breast milk, so don’t get demotivated and keep trying.

You must pump every 2 hours!! Do not go longer than 5 hours without pumping. When you continue to do this for about 3 months, you can pump every 3 hours instead.  But you must put in the hard work first. I didn’t introduce any formula until after 3 weeks of birth, because I wanted breastfeeding to be fully established first.

After about a month and a half I started slacking on pumping and nursing and my milk supply decreased drastically!!!!!!!I was only able to pump half an ounce every 2 pump sessions.

I got so worried, I cried my eyes out. Ashamed that i slacked. I remember feeling really depressed and a failure as a mother. I kept pumping and pumping and nursing. I remember crying to my husband, he saw how stressed out I was, and said its okay, and if anything Tamanna can just drink formula, this made me burst into tears!!! But I want her to drink my milk, its good for her I cried!! He assured me that it will be fine.

To  get my milk supply back up, I made sure I am always hydrated, drank plenty of water! This is the most important thing you need to do. Breast milk is 88% water(turn that water into milk girl!!!)

I  made lactation cookies, which is basically oatmeal cookies with brewers yeast(will post another blog including the recipe for my lactation cookies) I also drank mothers milkmaid tea. During the night I would power pump, which is pumping for 20 minutes, then rest 10 minutes, pump again for 10, then rest 10 minutes, and then pump for 10 minutes on last time. Its like a boob boot camp. During the weekend I would try to nurse as much as I can. All this helped along with continuing to pump every two hours. I also made sure I continued to take my prenatal vitamins. Its also important to get rest, this can be very challenging with a newborn, but having extra helping hands makes this possible.

It required a lot of hard work, but i finally got my milk supply back in about 5 days!!



I made a breastfeeding basket, that I keep near my bed. These are products I use and love. I also keep my iPad with me, because pumping takes about 30-40 minutes. My basket also includes hand sanitizer, milkmaid tea, wipes, nipple balm cream, nursing pads, Lansinoh breast therapy pads, granola bar. The Nursing Mothers Companion Book, and my favorite sparkly cup.

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When I am breastfeeding I use the Boppy Pillow, a product I absolutely love. It makes breastfeeding more comfy for both mommy and baby. It can also be used for propping the baby and for tummy time.

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I hope this blog helped you learn about the benefits of breastfeeding, and hopefully it encouraged you to give breastfeeding a try. Make sure you surround yourself with people that support your decision, and are there for you on days when breastfeeding can just be really frustrating. I still have days where I slack on breastfeeding/pumping, mommies are human too, and some days we just need a break.

I believe fed is best, so even if you choice to bottle feed because that’s what works for you, than that’s great. A happy healthy mom equals a happy healthy baby. Do what works best for you and your little one. 

For more information on breastfeeding, contact your local La Leche League or call (800) La-Leche(525-3243). Or check out there website at http://www.laleche.org.



The Day I Become a Mother. Natural Birth Story.



I have been trying to find the time to type up my birth story and publish it. I wrote it all in my journal while Tamanna was in the hospital nursery, so i wouldn’t forget the details.

Since I did not want an epidural, I had been mentally and physically preparing myself for a natural birth. I was very active during my pregnancy. I had a normal pregnancy so I was given the okay from the doctor. Staying active helps decrease labor time. I would walk at least 3 miles 5 times a week, did prenatal yoga, danced. I also worked all the way till the end of my pregnancy. I labored mostly at home, because I wanted to reach the hospital when it would be to late for an epidural.

So heres how it all happened.

Around 3 a.m. on March 8, I started feeling period cramps. They were light and not painful, so I was able to sleep thru 6a.m. I went to use the bathroom and had a bloody show, this was along with contractions that were not strong. I called my midwife, and she said I should be fine unless my water breaks and contractions are five minutes apart. An hour later I started getting contractions five minutes apart but after 30-35 minutes they would come every 10-12 minutes. I called my mom telling her I wasn’t feeling good(I didn’t tell her I was in early labor because she would freak out and make me go to the hospital) and asked her if she could come over. She said she would come later on in the afternoon. My sister was off that day so she came over instead. She got to my house at around 8 am and contractions were much stronger now. But they then stopped for a whole hour.

I had read that early labor can last up to 8-12 hours and then active labor is 3-5 hours. This can vary from women to women. I called my husband, we had a date night planned out, I told him we probably won’t be going out tonight. She will be here by the evening today(she was born 8:16 pm)!!!

“Really?No wayyyy”. he replied.

I wasn’t due until March 23rd. I was 37 weeks and 6 days.

My sister was with me for early labor, I told my husband to stay at work for now. She massaged my back through every contraction. I was using my breathing and early labor exercises I had learned about.

Contractions were getting more intense, i felt it all in my lower back, its like a striking pain!!! Way worse than I had imagined!! But I was breathing and exercising not letting those contractions take over me. Gosh I’m crying now just thinking about it. My sister would come in the room when she would hear me moan and massage my back while i was on the exercise ball. I was making sure to drink a lot of fluids, i didn’t have much of an appetite but i ate some bread and biscuits, i didn’t want to eat anything heavy. but being hydrated is key!!

I would lay down, do light exercises, yoga, early labor exercises in between contractions. I took a shower, brushed my hair, and put on my coconut oil. I also used my essential oils(lavender). Around 2 pm my parents came over, they had told my husband and sister to take me to the hospital. I did not want to go to hospital I wanted to labor as much as I could at home. I knew once I got to the hospital, and had a strong contraction, and someone asked if i wanted an epidural i would say YESSS, pleaseeee. My husband knew i wanted to labor at home I had been talking to him about how I wanted to deliver.

So my parents personally came over to take me the hospital, they know how stubborn I am. They got to my place and I told them look im fine. My dad sat outside with my husband and my mom was with me in the room. She saw me have a contraction, ran to my dad and said that I need to go the hospital now.

I telling them nooo im fine, i want to go when my contractions are five mins apart for an hour. Right now they were only 10-12 minutes apart, occasionally five mins apart for half an hour. I kept telling myself and everyone else that I’m fine, im fineeee.

But they were not taking no for an answer, my mom looked so scared, that i decided to go to the hospital have them check me and then come home, and then send my parents home. The hospital is 3 blocks from my house, so this didn’t take long.

My midwife said I was effaced and 2 centimeters. Damn i thought all that and im only 2 centimeters!! I told her I live near and will come back when contractions are closer. My parents didn’t like the idea of me going back home. I told them i came to the hospital for you guys and the midwife says its fine if I go back home. I went back home continued to exercise on my exercise ball and breathe, goshh I was so uncomfortable. But with every contraction I told myself that this will pass, my body has the power to get through this, and I need to be strong, and soon I will have my sweet baby.

So I sent my parents home, assuring them I was fine(even though I wanted to bite off the wallsssss). They had seen me holding on to a tree trunk on the way back from the hospital when a contractions came through, and after it was over, I would be like im fine im fine. They looked at me like i was crazy. My husband continuing to massage my back through this all.

Around 5pm, contractions got strong!!!! Then even worse at 6 30. But i continued to breathe and kept telling myself im going to be okay. I would put my hand against a walll and sway back and forth, while husband massaged my back, telling me I will be okay. At this point I just couldn’t anymore, and my husband’s voice was annoying me!!!!! He kissed my forehead and I screamed at him!!!

It was getting very tough, there was fruit and a knife on my table and told my husband to put the knife away, because I was honestly thinking of hurting myself just to end the pain, either that or I was going to kill my husband!!

Than contractions got very strong, it was now hard for me to speak or stand! I could no longer breathe or relax. Contractions had been five minutes apart for 40 mins and now they were strong as hell, that pain you get down your lower back is indescribable I had never felt anything like it before.

Contractions were now coming so fast and strong that I could no longer log them in my birthing center app. I told my husband that its time to go the hospital. He asked if he should call an ambulance, in my head i calculated that it would take an ambulance longer and i didn’t want to wait. I will just walk the five-minute distance. At this point I was ready to pick up a tree and just throw it at something.

We head to the hospital, on the way I had about 6 contractions. I still remember holding on to fences and tree trunks, trying to get through a contraction. When we were a block away, I felt so much pressure down there, i had the urge to push, I felt like I had to poop. I knew that feeling meant it was my baby. I tried not to push, afraid she would come out in the street. Thinking about that moment is making me tear up so much. I was so scared, but i had to be brave. I wanted to just lay down right there in the street. But I took out the strength to keep walking. We get to the labor and delivery department, and they’re like hi, how far are contractions? Husband replied five minutes, while im having another contraction, I put up 2 fingers shaking my head, im like nooo twoooo, twoo minutes apart. They told me which room to go to so they can attach me to a baby monitor and check to see how far along I am. My nurse was rude, she sucked!! Was not nice at all, and told the staff that I might kill someone, because I had hit my husband.

I couldn’t sit, stand, lay down or talk, I just couldn’t. Changing into the robe seemed impossible, i had a hat on that i threw across the room, At this point i was soooo tireddddd. She kept telling me to breathe thru my nose, but all I wanted to do was punch her in the nose. Then she told me look, your baby isn’t getting oxygen! That scared me so much, even though i knew i would just have to change my position and try to breathe. But she showed me a paper that came out of the baby monitor that showed a straight line. I was so freaked outtt, and i hated that she spoke to me that way, you do not do that to a laboring woman! I layed on my side and just tried to breathe.

My midwife came in and the first thing she asked me was if i wanted an epidural, I told her Yesssss!! my husband looked at me and said are you sure babe? He knew how much I didn’t want one, and had seen me labor all this time at home and on the street. I told him yes, I want it. The midwife checked me and I was 7 centimeters, they take me to the delivery room and my water broke!

She checked me and said its to late for an epidural and that I need to push. A part of me was so happy to hear those words!!!

oh fuckkk I screamed(by now the whole hospital and heard me cursing). I was soo tiredd, I had no idea how I was going to get through this. My husband was holding my back with one hand and my hand in the other. There were also two women volunteers there as well. Theyre telling me push, and I couldn’t long enough. I felt like my lips were going to tear apart. I was sweating like crazyyy.

Longer, stronger, longer, stronger they would say and I couldn’t. I kept trying to push and push. I felt every stretch and tear, my rectum and vagina had become one! it was excruciating pain!!! With every push I felt my down there tear. I was getting too tired now, I saw the doctor come in, which meant something was wrong. They’re probably going to have to take her out with a the vacuum I thought. I asked whats going on, and they said nothing Fatima, just push now. I pushed and she was now crowning. My midwife said we see her head Fatima push!!I tried, but it wasnt strong enough. While we waited for the next contraction, my husband said Jaan, i see our baby, our baby is almost here, you can do this!!! One strong push and we will have our baby. I took a deep breath and pusheddd, and felt that ring of fireeee they all talk about, which out of the whole labor was the most painful. It feels like fire and thornssss, like a monster is trying to rip out of you. I remember screaming sooo loud, I could not breathe and literally felt like i was going to die. One more push they kept screaming, i felt like my lips had teared open, but i pushed so damn hard, while i was screaming my lungs out and then……..

our baby, I saw her the back of her, her little butt and full head of hair. I was soo relieved, and my legs were shakinggg, my husband crying with joy. They didn’t put her on me directly, they had to check her. I wanted to skin to skin immediately, but didnt get that.

I saw my baby from far, while they checked her. The midwife had to stitch me up. they use a numbing injection, but gahhh i felt it all,that thread going thru you is……..hell.

But then finally we held our baby, she was looking up and me with her big eyes and i couldn’t believe it. The most beautful baby I had ever seen. Me and husband crying and smilling, our Tamanna, our Tamanna is here. That was the most beai=utfuk feeling in the world. My baby, my baby, I cried. And then when she latched on and breastfeed, it was absolutly amazing. March 8 on Women’s day at 8:16 pm Tamanna arrived.

I remembered long before me and my husband started living together, we talked about having kids. I asked him if having a son or daughter mattered to him, he said it did not, and whatever we had would be a blessing. I want a daughter first thou, i said. She would be strong, smart, independent girl, an inspiring role model. Having a daughter first is my wish, and thats what her name will be, Tamanna which means wish/desire.  I had said those words 3 years back, and that day I had her in my arms. She was a surprise, I had her while i was on birth control pills. But I thank Allah for choosing me to be Tamanna’s mother, and blessing me with a beautiful angel. Allah is the best of all planners.

I wanted to have a natural labor, I had done my research and did not want an epidural. Epidurals are not even FDA approved, don’t believe me?google it! America has women thinking they can’t go through childbirth, even though women have been doing it for years, our bodies have the ability to birth a child. But hospitals have made it a business. Yes there are women that are in risky situation, where an epidural can do wonders. I can go on and on about this issue, but i’ll leave that for another blog. Please watch the business of being born on Netflix, I definitely recommended it, tell all your girl friends to watch it too.Nothing against women who have gotten an epidural that’s your right and if you want one, no one should tell you otherwise!!! The important part is that mommy and baby are healthy and happy!!! 

I was proud of myself for being able to go through labor without an epidural and for staying at home for most of my labor. I had a burst of energy after the delivery, and felt amazing. My recovery was quick as well. I was able to easily walk and move around a hour after the delivery(ofcourse was very uncomfortable down there, I had padsicles for that, which helped alot!!). Being able to birth a baby, and your husband watching you go through it feels very empowering. He was so proud of me and commending me for being so brave. I was so proud of my husband, he deserves some props too!!! He didn’t freak out and remained calm, while i was just, well in labor. He motivated me so much, i honestly could have not done it without him.

Please please do your research. Educate yourself, this will empower you!! If there is one piece of advice i can give expecting mothers is read and read about pregnancy and labor, don’t listen to what anyone has to say, but your doctor and well resourced articles and books. Ofcourse you can not control how you labor or delivery will go, but knowing the stages of labor and what to expect and knowing hospital procedures is extremely important. Not everything doctors do are beneficial, know your rights and options. Every woman is different, we all have different experiences, so do not compare your experience to anyone elses. At the end of the day we re all mothers, trying to the best we possibly can for our little ones. I have so much respect for all mothers out there, you all are incredibly strong, and way more powerful than you believe.



DIY Postpartum Basket

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

Cant believe I’m saying this but today I am 37 weeks and 6 days pregnant (at the time I didn’t know I would be giving birth the next day)!!This pregnancy has taught and changed me so much(lets leave that for another blog). As soon as I found out I was pregnant(after being shocked and all those other emotions)the first thing I did was buy books on pregnancy and I researched and researched. I wanted to know everything that was happening in my body, all the changes, everything I could do to stay healthy and keep my baby healthy. I wanted to be prepared and educated on what was going on and what was going to happen. Doing this helped me alottttt throughout my pregnancy, I felt empowered knowing I have the information, and it definitely made me less scared and nervous.Every time a new symptom would show up, I would tell my husband oh!but that’s normal in this stage of pregnancy.

My goal was too be prepared by 37 weeks. I have my hospital bag ready, baby’s space is ready, library wall done, clothes washed and organized, and my postpartum and nursing baskets ready. I still have to deep clean the house, make lactation cookies and muffins and freeze meals. I’m hoping to do all that this weekend.

This blog will be about my DIY postpartum basket


So delivery doesn’t scare me as much as postpartum does. Everyone talks about there birth stories but not many talk about what happens after!! So this mama to be did her research and wants to be able to do as much as she can to recover after a beautiful little human being emerges from her lady part.Yikes!!

There will be a lot of TMI after this point.

So after you give birth there will be a lot of burning and itching down there, you will probably tear. Using the bathroom will not be blissful which is why you should take that stool softener!! Being constipated after delivery doesn’t sound fun at all.

Alot of things will be happening to you physically this includes bloody vaginal discharge, abdominal cramps as your uterus contracts back to its normal size. You will also experience perineal discomfort and pain, if you had a vaginal delivery.

Walking and sitting will be uncomfortable, as well as difficulty urinating for a day or two and discomfort with bowel movements for the first few days as well.

Of course these things will vary from woman to woman.

You want to make sure you don’t get an infection, so taking good perineal care is very important.

Make sure you use a fresh maxi pad at least every four to six hours.

Avoid dragging germs from the rectum toward the vagina while removing the pad.

Pour or squirt warm water

Here is what you can do to help with all that.

Make Padsicles. I came across this on Pinterst. This is very simple and all you need are pads, Aloe Vera gel, witch hazel and lavender oil.

I have interested clips on the steps below.

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First you open the pad, then add aloe vera gel, then the witch hazel, and then the lavender oil. After you complete these steps you can close the pad back up. You can store these in zip loc bags.

You want to try to make a bag or two of these and put them in the freezer before you go into labor. So try to do this by 37 weeks.

Another product that is a postpartum game changer is the Dermoplast extra strength hospital spray,  I have read and heard great things about this product. Many hospitals give this to new mamas, but just in case they don’t ,buy your own. You can also purchase pre witch hazel tucks pads.

My DIY postpartum basket contains maxi pads, heavy overnight ones and regular ones, since your blood flow will change. It also has the Dermoplast spray, lavender oil, aloe gel and witch hazel.

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Since I ended up giving birth the following day!!!!

I wasn’t able to post this blog. The good thing about that is that I can tell how guys if this helped me or not. And I can say that I am sooooo glad I made those padsicles. After you give birth your vagina swells up a lot!! At the hospital they give you an ice pack to put in your underwear, which isn’t at all comfortable and felt wayyy to cold, since the ice pack is a bit thick.

They definitely helped the discomfort a lot, the aloe gel felt amazing. I stopped using padsicles after a week, and just put aloe gel and witch hazel,sprayed the Dermoplast and lavender oil without freezing the pad.

The hospital will give you a peri bottle which you can use you wash yourself down there with warm water. You want to be very gentle and use soft napkins to pat dry, or use a blow dryer to dry yourself.

Keep your hands off the area until healing is complete.

Also make sure you take stool softeners, even after you leave the hospital!!!!!!

You also want to make sure you stay hydrated during labor and also after, because it is very important for you too urinate after delivery.

Another thing that helps a lot are sitz baths, you can soak for bottom for about 20 mins and thus helps the stitches help. This also helps if you have trouble urinating after delivery. I didn’t get an epidural so I was able to walk around after delivery which also helped.

Leakage is normal, its either you cant let go of the urine or it lets go of it too easily. Kegel exercises is also recommended for everyone postpartum. This can help restore restore the tone and help you regain control over the flow of urine.

Giving birth is an amazing experience, but since your perineal area went through trauma you want to make sure you take lots of care of yourself, and get lots of rest mama!!